Today we’re trashing it up. There’s nothing artisanal about this pizza. It doesn’t wear suspenders, a pageboy hat or do the whole fancy-talk about coffee. Think Lindsay Lohan passed out in the front seat kinda trashy. I’m pretty sure that’s where buffalo chicken pizza ranks on the scale of trash.
If you know me, you know that chicken wings of any form are my favorite food ever. I like Korean chicken wings, Japanese-style fried chicken, Thai chicken wings and of course, good ol’ American buffalo chicken wings.
This pizza exploits all those delicious flavors: hot sauce, chicken, ranch dressing and for good measure, some fresh Italian parsley and green onion.
In other pizza-making news, I haven’t made pizza for this blog for a very, VERY long time. It’s mainly taken me so long because I broke my pizza stone during a move and hadn’t replaced it…until…Baking Steel got in touch with me and sent me one.
This pizza is delicious. Like, really delicious. I think you should make it. And then I think you should take the next logical step and eat it…just don’t go eating it and then go shopping for a bathing suit, ’cause that’s just an awful idea.
I know it’s an awful idea because that’s just what I did. From said horrific shopping experience, I have a few ideas on how to make buying “outside underwear” a little more tolerable.
Rule 1: Don’t go to a place that rhymes with Schmorever 21 and expect bathing suits to fit well. They’re $7 for a reason.
Rule 2: Get “dressed” to go shopping. By “dressed” I mean put on some makeup, brush your hair. Look, you’re gonna be super annoying and overly self-critical, so at least look your very best. It helps.
Rule 3: American Apparel swimsuits are all a lil’ slutty looking. I think that’s the point. Sadface.
Rule 4: Like seriously, don’t go trying on swimsuits after a big meal. It’s just a sucky idea. Even if you don’t look full, you feel full. Just ugh.
Rule 5: Basically, don’t go to stores to try on swimsuits. Period. Buy them on a credit card and try them on at home and returns the ones that don’t work. Lesson learned.
For some reason, though stores have been selling clothes for, like, hundreds of years, most of them still haven’t figured out flattering dressing room lighting. WHY? It really can’t be THAT difficult. I mean, they put people on the moon…and have, like, multiple times.
Nope. It totally should be a picture of a pizza…topped with layers of ricotta, melted mozzarella, cubes of roasted butternut squash and broccoli rabe. That was the plan.
This pizza was supposed to convince me that broccoli rabe isn’t this gross, bitter leaf situation…well that failed. I tried. I did. I blanched it, I sauteed it with garlic, seasoned it…even paired it with something like the butternut squash to offset its disgustingness. Didn’t work. It’s just gross. It just is.
I was gonna post it anyway, thinking some of you lunatics actually might like it…but I dunno…looking at the pictures of the pizza bummed me out, so I decided to turn the leftover ingredients (from the pizza) into something more awesome!!