Today this post is all about saying sorry…to yourself.
Do you ever have those days when you’re just irritable? Of course you do. Yesterday, this happened. But instead of being irritated with others (like what would normally happen), I found myself all by myself with no one around, thus resulting in me just being irritated with myself.
I was annoyed that I almost backed my car into my landlord’s car. I was annoyed that I kept tripping over cords. I was annoyed that it was hot and yet I was determined to blow-dry my hair. And then I got annoyed with myself for sweating so much. I was annoyed with myself that I let my pile of laundry get sky-high. I was annoyed that I really wanted a hamburger but was too lazy to drive somewhere. And then I just got really annoyed for being annoyed. Like, shut up. Ew. Stop whining.
It was like I was 2 people but wasn’t. Like, one really annoying, bad mood person and one totally innocent person. The innocent person totally taking the brunt of my irritableness. Humans are complicated.
I finally forced myself to snap out of it. I decided to be super nice to myself. I painted my nails. I watched a movie. And then I gave myself some cookies. Being nice is way more fun.
One thing I don’t want to hear about at the moment: fall. No. Just no. I’m not ready. I don’t want to hear about pumpkins or yellow leaves or sweaters. Not just yet. Let me enjoy this sweltering heatwave. Let me enjoy the pool (if I can find one). Let me just enjoy the now, which is usually so hard for me to do, okay?
One thing I do want to talk about: ways to not be miserably hot. Firstly, air-conditioning. I typically think air-conditioning is like fake air and fake air is a little weird. BUT, it’s kind of necessary right now. Secondly, if I’m going float around a pool, I want to do it in a donut floatie. Can we all just agree that that’s awesome. And ridiculous. Which means all of us need one.
Thirdly, lemonade of all kinds. Specifically this one, because there’s raspberries and a vanilla bean and lemon juice. And, you get to smash the whole thing up which makes it fun!
Aaaannnd just like that I signed a lease! The craigslist ad had two sentences, “NO PETS!” (as one of the two sentences) and no pictures, but I went to look at it anyway. It was perfect great. I talked the landlord into fixing a few things, got him to approve my future dog and even got him to drop the rent by a few bucks. Aaaaand just like that I signed a lease, wrote a check and got my keys.
While I’m so stoked to have a new place that’s bigger and better, in a neighborhood I’m really excited about, part of me is a little sad to be leaving my old apartment.
I’ve lived here for almost four years, and so much has happened and changed in that time. It was in this apartment I thought to start a blog–and in its tiny kitchen is where I cooked up and shot my very first blog post (found it! also: embarrassing). I moved into this apartment with my then boyfriend…and after six years of dating, it’s the apartment we broke up in. In this apartment I experienced my worst heartbreak…and subsequently learned what the term “pick yourself up and dust yourself off” really feels like. So many memories, good and bad. I’m excited to move on and leave them behind. In celebration of signing on the dotted line, I ate two (crazy/amazing) burgers in less than 24 hours…and then made myself a milkshake.