I hate you I dislike you. I think it’s time for you to go away now, don’t you think? Look! I made you oatmeal cookies…think of it as a parting gift of sorts. So leave…now. You’ve caused nothing but trouble ever since you arrived and everyone is sorta tired of your face.
And to all you people that caused this, you sort of make me sick. My friends can’t seem to fund their movies, or get money for their art projects. A bunch of my favorite restaurants and boutiques have closed their doors, which in turn has lead to a whole bunch of people now working jobs they don’t like just to pay the rent (and that’s if they can even find a job) all ’cause of you. People have shed a lot of tears, families have broken up, and overall, you’ve just made life a whole lot harder for a whole lot of people. Sooo…I’m thinking you owe us something, dontcha think? I think you owe us some cookies…I mean, it’s really the least you could do. It certainly won’t make us forget, but you know, we’ll call it an olive branch. And since I’m pretty confident you can afford it, I’m demanding you put some bacon in those cookies, and I think Valhorna chocolate chips are also in order (see below for example).
So dig into your bonus-filled pockets, put on a cute, little apron and get baking. You suuure do have a lot of cookies to bake.