I learned a few things this weekend.
1.) Eggs Benedict should be against the law. I’m convinced of it. I mean, the whole dish is just butter, eggs and bread. Amazing.
2.) Making Hollandaise sauce the “right way” will make you whisk to the point where your arm might fall off.
3.) Losing an arm is worth it.
For three consecutive Saturdays I went to my favorite brunch spot and got this dish; Eggs Benedict with Portobello Mushrooms. But, this past Saturday I was 3,000 miles away, so I tried to make it.
Can I be honest?
Making hollandaise sauce made me kinda angry. I tried (and then failed), my dad tried (and then failed) and since my dad refuses to give up, he watched four youtube videos about hollandaise, read three different cookbooks and then finally reached amazing, buttery success..
I find this strange enjoyment with ringing myself up at the grocery store’s self-checkout. I love pressing the touchscreen, looking up produce numbers, and scanning each product’s bar code. After thinking about it for a bit, I realized it all goes back with my ambitions as a kid to be on Supermarket Sweep. Do you remember that show? Oh my, how I wanted to wear one of those brightly-colored sweatshirts! And those gigantic name tags! Oh and my strategy. Umm…can we talk about the strategy that went into that game? Everyone knows that you go for the most expensive stuff in the store first. Like the turkeys or hams. And then you grab all the over-the-counter drugs, and then you move to the cereals or liters of soda. Man, they really need to bring that show back. It’s so 1990 in the most awesome way possible.
I realized something about myself today. Olive oil is my thing.
When I was 12 or 13, I received a spa cookbook for my birthday and became hooked on mixing up oatmeal masks, honey hair treatments and avocado masks. Why my 12 year old self needed any sort of facial mask is another story. But I think I just liked the idea of cracking eggs in my hair and slapping oatmeal on my face; it seemed so neat and kinda retro. Now, the thought of slathering avocado all over my face sounds sort of weird, and plus, I’d probably just end up eating it anyway, which is even weirder. I know.
Anyway, I didn’t think much of it when I picked this pound cake out of a book of 200 or so recipes. Lemon Olive Oil Pound Cake? I’m there. Sooo there. I then went to get ready for the day and grabbed my olive oil face wash and then put on this olive oil body lotion. And then I stopped. Whoa…I umm…really like olive oil. I guess I’m not so far off from my 12 year old self. I still put food on my face thinking it’ll make me pretty. Hmmm…interesting.
I think we all secretly enjoy sick days…at least a little. Sure, you’re sick and that sucks, but there’s really nothing better than having an excuse to be cozy in bed during the middle of the day, watching television with mug in hand. So last week when I went home sick, I was pretty excited that all of that was in my near future.
When I got home I immediately put on my pajamas, turned on the television, grabbed my computer to answer a few emails and got in bed. Playing in the background was an episode of Martha Stewart, solely dedicated to the vendors at the Brooklyn Flea. I was only half paying attention until a woman, who was a ricotta vendor there, began making Lemon-Poppy Seed Ricotta Pancakes alongside Martha. I was totally in love.