It’s not summer if there isn’t massive amounts of zucchini everywhere. You’re probably experiencing this too. You go to the grocery store and the zucchini is marked down so cheap that you can’t say no. And so you don’t, but then you don’t know what to do with it. One can only have grilled zucchini so many times, you know?
Also, I think it’s weird that zucchini is literally everywhere but its flower – the zucchini flower – is kinda this rare, expensive little bird that people oooo and ahhhh at. Why aren’t there more? Doesn’t each zucchini get a flower too? Is this how this works? Nature confuses me.
This salad is ribboned, which I’m obsessed with because it’s soooo pretty. And it being ribboned means you can eat the zucchini raw like it ain’t no thang. Also, I love ribbons. It’s my dream to have big organized drawers in my home full of ribbons. What I would do with them? Who cares. I love ribbons!
So, say your neighbor goes out of town and is super nice and hands you a box of fresh peaches and a big bag of avocados and asks if you’d kindly water his plants. That’s it. Just water the plants.
And for the next two weeks you do. You water them. You don’t slack or forget because you pass them to get to your front door so they’re there reminding you they need water. But then a heat wave hits and they start to take a turn for the worst.
And between you and me, these plants were in the wrong pots. Like, they needed more room to grow. So the worst thing ever happens and one of them dries up and straight up dies…on your watch! You start to feel terrible, because while you know it wasn’t your fault, they did die when you were watching them. They were alive and perky when the neighbors left, you know.
So, yeah, it’s not your fault. It was the heat. And their pots. But do you buy them a new replacement plant. Do you do that? That would be a nice neighborly thing to do, right? Or do you just skip it and ignore it and stop being so neurotic?
But fareal, do I need to buy them a new plant? Also, let’s remember that if I buy them a new plant I’m basically admitting that I killed their plant, which I didn’t. I’m a good plant-caretaker, I swear!
This pizza is delicious. Like, really delicious. I think you should make it. And then I think you should take the next logical step and eat it…just don’t go eating it and then go shopping for a bathing suit, ’cause that’s just an awful idea.
I know it’s an awful idea because that’s just what I did. From said horrific shopping experience, I have a few ideas on how to make buying “outside underwear” a little more tolerable.
Rule 1: Don’t go to a place that rhymes with Schmorever 21 and expect bathing suits to fit well. They’re $7 for a reason.
Rule 2: Get “dressed” to go shopping. By “dressed” I mean put on some makeup, brush your hair. Look, you’re gonna be super annoying and overly self-critical, so at least look your very best. It helps.
Rule 3: American Apparel swimsuits are all a lil’ slutty looking. I think that’s the point. Sadface.
Rule 4: Like seriously, don’t go trying on swimsuits after a big meal. It’s just a sucky idea. Even if you don’t look full, you feel full. Just ugh.
Rule 5: Basically, don’t go to stores to try on swimsuits. Period. Buy them on a credit card and try them on at home and returns the ones that don’t work. Lesson learned.
For some reason, though stores have been selling clothes for, like, hundreds of years, most of them still haven’t figured out flattering dressing room lighting. WHY? It really can’t be THAT difficult. I mean, they put people on the moon…and have, like, multiple times.
Making fries in various vegetable varieties is kind of my jam. I’m starting to think it’s my life calling to make fries out of just about anything…except potatoes. I have no interest in making French fries…I can just buy those from In-n-Out.
Then…Avocado Fries. I mean…I’ve made them twice since Caroline originally posted them. Amazeballs.
Next there were Spicy Carrot Fries. And then…if I cut these pickles differently, they totally would’ve been pickle fries instead of pickle chips. But seriously, who cares. They were dipped in batter and fried. And then I ate like a hundred with a beer. End of story.
And now I give you these Zucchini Fries. With not one, but two dipping sauces!! Dipping sauces are important. Are you the type that has bbq sauces and hot sauces from fast food restaurants in your glove compartment?!
Yeah, me neither.
I roasted some garlic and made into an aioli. This was a good idea.
And Sriracha Mayonnaise. Ummmm…hello!!! It was delicious. You should do this.
Hiiiiiii, you cute people, you! You’re looking mighty fine on this sunny Monday morning. Have I told you that lately? Well you dooo….I have some biscuits for you.
Before we continue with talk about zucchini and cheese and butter, can I get emotional on you for a second?
Warning: This might get awkward.
Apologies in advance, but I have to comment on Jennifer Perillo. As many of you know, Jennie, last week, lost her husband. People reached out and asked how they could help. And all she asked from people was to make a peanut butter pie and share it with their loved ones.
And then…something magical happened: everyone did. All of you did. And it was incredible. I’ve never been so proud to be a part of a group of people as much as I was last week. So I wanted to thank you. And tell you you’re all so incredibly beautiful. It can all be ripped from us so quickly, can’t it? So fragile. So delicate. That’s the one commonality we all understood…crystal clear. You all make me believe in the power of good all over again. Truly.
Alright, my tears are wiped…can we talk about butter now? Butter makes people feel better.
I keep notebooks. Do you keep notebooks? Where else am I supposed to keep random thoughts? I can’t post EVERYTHING that’s going on in my brain on Twitter. That’d be just wrong. And scary.
So I keep notebooks. Despite the weirdness (and embarrassment) of what goes on in my brain, I’m not too worried about someone finding them–since they’re nearly impossible to read. My typically neat and girly handwriting transforms into incomprehensible scribble, pages are re-used over and over, and the entire thing reads like one strange grocery list.
It’s true, I like lists. Sunday morning I got up abnormally early (read: 7am)–which basically means I’m turning into my father–and I decided to just write stuff down. Stuff I like. Stuff I don’t like. Sort of simple, no? Yeah, nothing too deep; I’m not that complicated.
Current brain/feelings likes and dislikes are flowing like this:
1. Like: Making a list. Crossing it off. Completion is so satisfying. Succeeding at simple things just never gets old.
2. Dislike: Having that nagging thing on the list, not doing it and putting it on the next day’s list. Like, DMV stuff or basically anything that requires a call to someone that will involve being put on hold. When are we gonna be able to email the government, anybody?
I’m a child of the 90s. I grew up listening to Nirvana, Boys to Men, SWV and had Quicksilver t-shirts and wanted to wear Dickies like Gwen Stefani…you know the ones like in No Doubt’s video “I’m Just a Girl,” and of course in the sixth grade my favorite movie was Clueless. I even went so far as to ask my parents for her closet. Which by the way, is still incredible. Can you imagine what you could do nowadays with an iPad. Best. Closet. Ever.
Anyway, so when a friend recommended Alcicia Silverstone’s book, The Kind Diet, I figured I’d give it a go. I sat and read the first few chapters; it was informative, impactful, taught me things I never knew about veganism and the possibilities of it changing your health.
I felt kinda empowered and so for the next twenty minutes I started considering turning vegan. It kinda made sense. I’d been sufffering with allergies for a few months and maybe me eating dairy and meat had something to do with it. I love animals and don’t want to live a life hurting them. So I started to think; going through all the things I’d have to give up.
Chicken? Eh..I mean, I love buttermilk fried chicken, but I don’t eat it all that often and I could maybe live without it.
Steak, hamburgers, short ribs. Uhhh…I started to immediately mourn In-N-Out and the truffle burger from Umami Burger, which really deserves its own category of awesome–it’s life changing, really. BUT I could probably eat less burgers. My thighs would be grateful, though I am doing yoga everyday. Have I told you that? Whatevs. No big deal. I just work out or whatever.