
To the woman driving in the lane next to me on my way to work: I know that you really wanted to merge at that very second, but I don’t think that simply drifting into my lane was the best way to go about it. Turn signals actually work very well, I would highly recommend you try using them next time. You know how I slammed on the brake to avoid crashing into you? Yeah, it actually wasn’t that much fun first thing in the morning; totally ruined the moment I was sharing with my Ipod.
Oh, and I think you made a friend after that. Remember when you decided you had actually been in the correct lane to begin with and swerved back over? The driver in that lane seemed really impressed. He gestured a lot, I think he was hoping you could hang out sometime.

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I think it’s time I clarify something about my diet. I know that I often tell people I’m a vegetarian, but a real vegetarian does not eat animal flesh of any kind. I, however, eat fish, which makes me a pescetarian. I tell people I’m a vegetarian because I think it’s a less-weird word than pescetarian. Try and tell your Southern relatives that you’re a vegetarian and they look at you like you’re speaking German. Tell them you’re a pescetarian and they look at you like aliens have abducted your body and taken over your brain. So I go for the lesser of two evils, it’s just a easier.
So yes, I eat fish and seafood. Why do I eat fish and not chicken or beef or pork? Well, of all the meats out there it has the least amount of fat, it’s chock full of healthy oils, and quite frankly, because I don’t feel as bad about eating fish as I do cute little lambs or cows.
And cause sushi is awesome.
And crab cakes are amazing.
And smoked salmon is heaven.


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