Biscuits are rarely dessert. WHY? They’re too delicious not to be dessert, amirite? Of course I am.
I decided to take these unjust matters into my own hands and make biscuits more like chocolate cake, but still biscuits. Do you see what I’m doing here?
When I set out on this journey, I figured I’d just make chocolate biscuits, smother them with butter, say it’s breakfast/dessert and call it a day. But then I peeped in the fridge and spotted some near-dying strawberries and whipped cream that was flirting with its expiration date, sooo…it became quite clear that I just needed to make a chocolate rendition of Southern strawberry shortcake.
This is typical of how kitchen awesomeness happens for me: a mishmash of refrigerator stragglers just trying to find a place in this world.
What’s up flakiness? What’s up nuttiness? What’s up brown buttery craziness? Welcome to my world!
…And just like that I’m in the mood for Thanksgiving. Yesterday I found out that brown butter has the ability to give me the second turkey wind I needed; I’m officially ready to show T-Day who’s bawwwwss.
Menu talk. Let’s dig in. This year, in order to keep things interesting, I’m not really making anything I’ve made before. Scary. Stressful. NAH! I say fuuuuun!
Cranberry Sauce. The canned stuff?! I just can’t. I loooved it as a kid, but if you have REAL cranberry sauce, you’ll be changed forever. And honestly, it is the easiest thing to make ever. Teri and Jenny’s Cinnamon and Star Anise Infused Cranberry Sauce? Yes. Just yes.
Alton Brown’s Good Eats Roast Turkey. Intense brining situation. A little food science. The man’s a genius. I’ve wanted to try this recipe for years. YEARS. It’s finally happening in a few days.
Okay. I lied. I’m making my favorite side dish of all-time: Cauliflower Brussels Sprout Gratin (hold the brussels sprouts because my mom hates them). I can make this dish without looking at the recipe. It’ll be the one super easy, no-fuss, sans stress dish I’m making. Worry free cheesy side dish? Necessary.
Ree’s Delicious, Creamy Mashed Potatoes. I made them for myself when I got my wisdom teeth taken out. It was a sad sight. My face was puffy. I couldn’t speak. I wanted my mama. Instead (as I was all drugged up and feeling fantastic), I barely was able to make these–they were delicious (from what I can remember). Time for them to reappear!
For our bread situation, I was going to make these top knots I posted a few weeks ago. I was set on this idea. But as I was looking at my menu of ambitious, never made before dishes, I decided to whip up these biscuits as a test run…
Hi! I have biscuits this morning…with bacon…and some sort of glaze situation! Can we talk?
Since I’ve lured you with the smell of sizzling salty bacon, I’d like to share three incredibly significant boring things that happened to me yesterday:
1. Two five-year-old girls (separately) complimented my new leopard ankle boots. I think this might mean I’m a trendsetter. OR it just means that these little girls want shoes that look like their fav stuffed animal. Either way, I’ll take it.
2. I had TWO dinners. Yes, last night I sat down to a 7-course tasting menu to only then find out that was the appetizer. Hello!!! Amazing!! I’ll tell you all about it on Monday, but in case you’re even nosier than me, keep up with my Sonoma food and wine thrills on FB & Twitter.
P.S. If you’re lucky, I might post a pic of me voming on the scheduled helicopter ride. (Can we say….schmexy!!!)
3. I packed a few biscuits in my bag to the airport. And since I’m a loser and always try and get away with bringing stuff I shouldn’t (read: hair spray), I always have to show the security dude the guts of my suitcase. It always feels violating. Always.
Is he judging my folding techniques? Are my bras and underwearz gonna fall out onto the floor for the world to see? Terrible! Embarrassing! Also, kinda gross. Seriously. That floor’s disgusting.
Hiiiiiii, you cute people, you! You’re looking mighty fine on this sunny Monday morning. Have I told you that lately? Well you dooo….I have some biscuits for you.
Before we continue with talk about zucchini and cheese and butter, can I get emotional on you for a second?
Warning: This might get awkward.
Apologies in advance, but I have to comment on Jennifer Perillo. As many of you know, Jennie, last week, lost her husband. People reached out and asked how they could help. And all she asked from people was to make a peanut butter pie and share it with their loved ones.
And then…something magical happened: everyone did. All of you did. And it was incredible. I’ve never been so proud to be a part of a group of people as much as I was last week. So I wanted to thank you. And tell you you’re all so incredibly beautiful. It can all be ripped from us so quickly, can’t it? So fragile. So delicate. That’s the one commonality we all understood…crystal clear. You all make me believe in the power of good all over again. Truly.
Alright, my tears are wiped…can we talk about butter now? Butter makes people feel better.
This week I’ve been in NY being a business lady. But before I left town, I made you biscuits!!
Actually, I made them for my friends Tre and Erin. My friend Tre and I did some apartment swap action. Perfect timing made it possible for me to stay at his cute East Village apartment while he crashed at my place in LA. Kind of amazing how it all worked out.
Since him and Erin were driving in late from San Fran, I figured I could put some near-dying strawberries to good use by throwing them into biscuits. I didn’t think there was anyway this could be a bad combo.
For the most part growing up, I was a pretty good kid. I never got in huge trouble or needed long-term grounding. But on the few occasions when I did get sent to my room for a few hours, I remember it really hurting my feelings. My first instinct was to make my parents “pay” for being so mean to me, so I’d usually find myself mumbling, “Well, fine…I’m just…I’m just…gonna run away!” I always dreamed about the moment when my parents realized I’d skipped town and how bad they’d feel about being mad at me in the first place.
I had a really romantic image of what running away was, and I blame it all on Snoopy. He had that perfectly straight tree branch with the blanket wrapped around. It probably contained all his prized possessions. Whenever I envisioned packing my own little knapsack, I thought of all the cool stuff I’d take with me. Like my Cookie Monster! And some UNO cards for entertainment, some Capri Suns for when I got thirsty and some flaky biscuits for a snack.
Like most girls, I’ve thought about what my wedding will be like….err maybe only once or twice (or three times). I think a farm wedding in the summer would be straight up dreamy; with a barn, and tall grass, mason jars and fireflies–it’d be magic. It got me sort of thinking about how awesome it would be to have a petting zoo, too. A freakin’ petting zoo! How amazing would that be?! Now, I usually have huge issues with petting zoos, because while I LOVE petting farm animals, I don’t really dig petting goats–they kinda suck. I don’t get them. We don’t get each other. And that’s usually all petting zoos consist of…that and random chickens that want nothing to do with you. Kinda boring.
So at my future wedding’s petting zoo, there will be animals I do wanna pet like dogs, cats, pigs, and miniature horses. And I will pet them in between dances and knocking down champagne, and so will my guests. It’ll be lovely.
And you know how you you’re supposed to give guests, like, a little gift bag or something? Well, I’d want to give the animals gifts too. I’d probably give the pigs the leftovers from the reception, the miniature horses would get some sweet apples, I’d give the cats some private time…and the dogs, well, I’d make them these homemade treats. I bet they’d really like them because I gave them a try and they’re not half bad. Sooo if your dog is peering over your shoulder as you’re reading this blog post, you can tell them this: these treats have a predominate peanut buttery taste, the texture is hearty and nourishing due to the rolled oats, and the finish has a lovely hint of coconut and chicken. Yum!
Biscuits rule, period. Sadly, I didn’t always know this. Yeah, it’s true. Even though I was born in the South and was raised by parents who spent most of their youth in the South, biscuits weren’t part of my childhood. This is mainly due to the fact that my mother was not much of a baker and, in general, my parents are not huge fans of Southern food. In fact, my first real introduction to biscuits was a random trip to Kentucky Fried Chicken—and from then on, I was hooked. Yes, I’ll proudly say that KFC has some pretty glorious biscuits. Everyday after tennis practice, on my way home, I’d go through the drive-thru and order two biscuits with honey and butter. It was heaven in a to-go bag.
These biscuits are also heaven, even though they’re nothing like KFC’s biscuits. I’ll even go so far to say that these are better–much better. Don’t believe me? Well, here are a few reasons why my biscuits stomp the KFC competition.
#1 All of the ingredients in my biscuits are pronounceable.
#2 These biscuits aren’t meal-specific. You can have them for breakfast, lunch, dinner and even for a random snack, if you like. They’re like um…a unisex shirt, or a shirt that’s ‘size fits all.’ I love when stuff is like that.